I just lost a family member today.

It feels as if I want to speak out but not a single word comes, mouth parched dry.
It feels as if this night has become more melancholic, as if the night is hugging you tightly with immense sadness.
It feels as if no song can give the solace you need, you keep on shuffling the whole playlist.
It feels as if tears are waiting to gush out yet somehow, it’s just standing, waiting desperately to come out.

Yes, it’s Covid.
Yes, on ventilator. Yes, she’s not breathing. Now.
As I was speaking to my family on video conference,
When my Amma asked whether I had eaten food, it felt as if my heart pumped warmed blood to my cold, numb body.

When my Appa asked to sleep tight, my mind was wondering how is he able to hold himself up and his family so calmly.

When my Akka said out aloud,’I want to cry out aloud,I need you’, my soul wanted to hug her so tight.

That’s when I realised,
How lucky I was.
How alive we all were.

So, my friend, what are you waiting for,
Go, love your loved ones as if the only day you live,
is today.